life lessons when staring in the mirror... (aka: and so it goes)

It's funny; life rolls along and always knows how to throw curve balls without any warning or reason for it whatsoever.  That’s life, right?  It’s a quick jab to current life or a swift kick to the family jewels regarding the past.  Either way, its things that require 100% attention or it becomes a slippery slope of sorts.

I will never be capable of grasping everything in life, but there are many times I feel disconnected to what I want to do in life.  As I grow older, I still maintain the energy and excitement inside as if I were still eighteen years old.  There’s so much I want to do on a daily basis, but restricted due to commitment to my current job.  I have the luxury of working from home instead of having to go into an office.  Moreover, business travel comes into play often, which places me in either familiar or unfamiliar locations.  No problems with that for the most part but experience most everything alone.  I should be used to it after so many years, but it does weigh on me more often.

I’ve done a lot over the years, whether it be my career or in my personal life.  I’ve had a lot of fun. My happy/fun factor hasn’t been at the level where I’d like it, and that’s a problem.  First world problem, yes.  Maybe all this has something to do with turning fifty recently, I’m not sure.  I want to squeeze so much more out of life and balance that out with my job (which is its own balancing act; feast or famine in my line of work).   

I did a damn good job of balancing things last year and made a couple of trips to San Diego to see my daughter.  We went to Universal Studios, attended a baseball game at Dodger Stadium May ’16, and visited West Hollywood for the first time in years.  Had a few drinks at the infamous Rainbow on the Sunset Strip, visited Amoeba (best damn music shop in the world), and went to the beach a couple times.  Went back out to SD in Aug ’16 to catch the Guns N’ Roses show at Qualcomm Stadium (phenomenal) and took in not one but two MLB baseball games.  Also ventured out to Las Vegas to attend a couple shows (Black Sabbath in Feb ’16 and Metal Church/Armored Saint June ’16).  See, no complaints here.

Then in mid-July ’16, I was engaged in a lot of business travel, which lasted until December.  The first week of Jan 2017 I was hit with an anti immune disorder which horribly affected my skin and sidelined me from work travel. So aside from the SD trip in Aug, all I saw was airports, hotel rooms, conference rooms and work…work…work.  That line from Stephen King’s book “The Shining” comes to mind, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”  Not in a ‘woes me’ way, because I don’t feel as though I’m looking for a ‘pity party’.  However, I want to improve my quality of life now.  Not when I’m too old to enjoy it (or afford it).

Also for some reason, I’ve been listening to a lot of Ed Sheeran.  Been a fan for about six years and enjoy his music, but I seem to have gravitated to his music even more over the last couple months.

I just need to figure out the means.  Where there’s a will there’s a way.

Ed Sheeran - Happier

To my daughter - Happy Birthday!

Today's my daughter's birthday. Proudest and happiest day of my life.

She's in the Navy now and it's the first time we haven't celebrated her birthday together since the day she was born. How fortunate am I to have been able to spend so much time with her all these years?

Regardless what goes on personally in one's life (the good and the bad), there's nothing that can take the place of a Dad's love for his little girl.  I raised her myself and let me tell you, she's done an amazing job in life so far.  And I couldn't have asked for a better daughter.  On top of it, she's a decent person who has a lot of love, empathy, compassion and a wonderful sense of humor.  She's married as well and has a fantastic husband who loves and cares for her to the moon and back.  And for that, I am grateful.

She's been my best friend since the day she was born and nothing will ever change that.  I am so grateful for her and she's made my life so much more enjoyable.

The poem below perfectly captures the essence of the bond.  She has so much life to live and so many wonderful experiences to endure.

Happy birthday, Sam!  You'll always be my little girl.
xoxoxo

Father-Daughter
"The bond between father and daughter happens instantly, starting right at birth,
When a father first lays eyes on his little girl he loves her more than anything on this earth,
When a daughter grows older her father is the first man she will love,
And the last one her father will have trouble letting go of,
To her father she means the world, she means everything.
When a daughter grows up to be an adult and mature,
Her father will always be there anytime she still needs dad to help her,
To give her advice or just-for anything she will ever need,
The bond between father and daughter is the most important bond indeed,
It cannot be broken when she finds a man, and become his wife,
It cannot be broken even in the ending of either one's life,
A daughter will always have the memories of her father, her best friend
This bond has a beginning, but there is never an end.
The bond between a father and daughter is so profound
The love shared is well renowned,
From the beginning of his daughter's life, he is a changed man,
At that moment his life really just began."