Saturday, April 1, 2017

life lessons when staring in the mirror... (aka: and so it goes)

It's funny; life rolls along and always knows how to throw curve balls without any warning or reason for it whatsoever.  That’s life, right?  It’s a quick jab to current life or a swift kick to the family jewels regarding the past.  Either way, its things that require 100% attention or it becomes a slippery slope of sorts.

I will never be capable of grasping everything in life, but there are many times I feel disconnected to what I want to do in life.  As I grow older, I still maintain the energy and excitement inside as if I were still eighteen years old.  There’s so much I want to do on a daily basis, but restricted due to commitment to my current job.  I have the luxury of working from home instead of having to go into an office.  Moreover, business travel comes into play often, which places me in either familiar or unfamiliar locations.  No problems with that for the most part but experience most everything alone.  I should be used to it after so many years, but it does weigh on me more often.

I’ve done a lot over the years, whether it be my career or in my personal life.  I’ve had a lot of fun. My happy/fun factor hasn’t been at the level where I’d like it, and that’s a problem.  First world problem, yes.  Maybe all this has something to do with turning fifty recently, I’m not sure.  I want to squeeze so much more out of life and balance that out with my job (which is its own balancing act; feast or famine in my line of work).   

I did a damn good job of balancing things last year and made a couple of trips to San Diego to see my daughter.  We went to Universal Studios, attended a baseball game at Dodger Stadium May ’16, and visited West Hollywood for the first time in years.  Had a few drinks at the infamous Rainbow on the Sunset Strip, visited Amoeba (best damn music shop in the world), and went to the beach a couple times.  Went back out to SD in Aug ’16 to catch the Guns N’ Roses show at Qualcomm Stadium (phenomenal) and took in not one but two MLB baseball games.  Also ventured out to Las Vegas to attend a couple shows (Black Sabbath in Feb ’16 and Metal Church/Armored Saint June ’16).  See, no complaints here.

Then in mid-July ’16, I was engaged in a lot of business travel, which lasted until December.  The first week of Jan 2017 I was hit with an anti immune disorder which horribly affected my skin and sidelined me from work travel. So aside from the SD trip in Aug, all I saw was airports, hotel rooms, conference rooms and work…work…work.  That line from Stephen King’s book “The Shining” comes to mind, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”  Not in a ‘woes me’ way, because I don’t feel as though I’m looking for a ‘pity party’.  However, I want to improve my quality of life now.  Not when I’m too old to enjoy it (or afford it).

Also for some reason, I’ve been listening to a lot of Ed Sheeran.  Been a fan for about six years and enjoy his music, but I seem to have gravitated to his music even more over the last couple months.

I just need to figure out the means.  Where there’s a will there’s a way.

Ed Sheeran - Happier